Well, It's August, the Big Ten meetings have just finished, the football team has arrived for practice and it won't be long before students flood the new Ohio Union and break out into questionable mass-choreographed song and dance again. Of course, I waited until classes were out for the summer and the glee had passed before I attempted to navigate a tripod through the crowds and avert head trauma -intentional or not - of titanium to student skull. Surprisingly, there were actually plenty of pupils around and lots of activity in her halls. Even the bar was full in mid-week. There are many things about the new U that are curious to me, including the schizophrenic interior decoration decisions (is this the new collegiate style of the new millennium?), but I had the most trouble understanding one piece of the Union Puzzle. Chiseled into the stone just above the first floor are lines from the most beloved of all college sing-a-longs in Ohio, Ohio State's alma mater, Carmen Ohio. While scanning the phrases that surrounded me in syrupy sentimentality, I noticed that they were all out of order. Granted, there are natural breaks created by the architecture of the atrium and the lines of the song, however, would not the most logical arrangement of the lines be to place them in consecutive order, circling the space - that is, left to right, clockwise? Though my tender moment with my alma mater was derailed by utter confusion, the new U is still pretty great in all its quirkiness.